How I wish I could celebrate this occassion with you. How I wish you could understand how I feel towards you. How I wish you could change and be a better mom for me & my sisters. Is it hard for you to understand? I've been longing & craving for your love. Can you read my eyes? Can you see how I react? Can you even see how it affects me?

I do not ask for more. I just need you to change to be better. I want you to be a mother not a friend, not even the Azlinah Rahmat when she is Sixteen. I thought you'd be better over years but I was wrong. Can you see that even you do shits to me, gave me a miserable life, I still love you. Can you really see that? Can you really see that I was hoping too much for you to change? Why cant you be different? Why cant you be a Mother? The least you could do is to be The Mom that closes to their child, the Mom that cares for their child's need, the Mom who understand and feel their child when they're down & the Mom that would even cross a raging fire in the sea just to be with their child.

Im not asking for you to cross that raging fire of sea, im not asking for your money, im not asking for sacrifices & im not asking for being abandoned. All i just need you to do is to show & shower me with your love. I've been longing that since I was Three. Even you never did took care of me but atleast show me that you still care & love. Im 19 but yet I didnt feel any love from you. Yes, im lucky to still have a Mom but No, i dont deserve this.

Im not being emotional here but I was hoping for you to read this and understand how i feel & How my innermost thoughts are. And im still hoping for you to change. It's never too late for someone to change & repent. I hope you realise that what & who you're now, demoralising myself & my sisters. Yes, for once, Im ashamed to even say that you're my mother with you having this attitude but No, I wont now cuz I'm mature enough to think, because how bad you are, you're still my mother, the one who sacrifice her life to give birth to me & the one who i shared my blood with....

Ibu, i do love you, yes i do even if i never show it, deep down, I do really love you. Please change ibu. Insyaallah, you'll be a good mom. Happy Mother's Day to you.

Yours Sincerely,

Broken Daughter,

Nurzairina Zaini